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Yemen declares war on UAE on basis of homophobia

In a breaking exclusive, the BBC has received intel of Yemen’s declaration of war on the United Arab Emirates this morning.

Outside the lecture hall the exchange follows:

UAE: ‘Yemen just declared war on us.’

Yemen: ‘I did, I very much did, I don’t like UAE so I declared war because they’re homophobic.’

U: ‘We are the innocent party, we haven’t done anything wrong.’

Y: ‘You’re homophobic and you made a deal with India times.’

U: ‘That is all libel … This needs to be taken to the international court of justice.’

Y: ‘I fully agree [...] 1 v. 1 me’

Following a brief pause of disbelief, UAE responds, ‘I’m not the president, I'm the foreign secretary!’

Y: ‘I know, get the president to do a 1 v. 1 with our president and whoever wins in a boxing match [decides the winner of the war].’

U: ‘You have fun with that.’

BBC cannot comment on the validity of Yemen’s claims of UAE’s homophobia, whether that refers to the delegate themselves or a generalised perception of UAE’s cultural and societal normatives. The provocation for this declaration is unclear. Though there has been a history of recent conflict between Yemen and UAE, the two country delegates remained largely civil until now.

It is uncertain when the boxing match will occur and who will represent the countries, whether it is by two trained professionals, their respective leaders or the delegates themselves, in which case, specialist sources believe the UAE will have the advantage of height in addition to the swagger of a London-funeral-esque attire. (See pictured below.)

Pictured: UAE (Andrew) slaying.

This is a developing story.

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